


The promise

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pain, Suicidal Thoughts, Wolfstar Hurt Fest 2020, Wolfstar is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25960045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "You have to find Sirius before Peter does. I’m afraid that if you fail, Sirius might do something that he’d regret. Inform him of James and Lily’s passing. He is Harry’s godfather after all, he could have custody, but he has to be able to take care of him. Do hurry. If you’re not back here before dawn. I’ll be forced to take Harry away and you will most likely not see him again.”In which Remus made a promise he couldn't keep.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20
Collections: Wolfstar Hurt Fest





	The promise

**Author's Note:**

> TW: death, suicidal thoughts, implied self-harm
> 
> Read responsibly, this is a hurt fest and if you're not comfortable with certain things do avoid them. We're all here for the angst and hurt but if one of these triggers affect you don't read it. 
> 
> Prompt 55 : Remus has to tell Sirius about James and Lily’s death, and Sirius breaks down

###  The Promise 

Remus scratched his stubble. Dumbledore had summoned him alone. Again. 

The last time hadn’t gone so well, as he had learnt that the Potters had gone into hiding and that he wasn’t to see them again. He hadn’t been chosen to keep the secret of their location. Had that hurt? Yes. Remus had been such a good friend to Lily, he was James’ brother. But no, Sirius had been chosen to be the Secret-Keeper. 

The choice had put a dent in their relationship. Did he even have a relationship with Sirius anymore? When was the last time they’d spoken to each other? The memory of their last fight had Remus’ heart aching. 

Remus felt alone. He had no one to talk to. Even Peter had forgotten all about him. 

He hadn’t seen the Potters since they’d chosen Sirius. He had also been busy with Order business. Working undercover within the werewolf community was exhausting. He hadn’t slept in two days and he had only eaten whatever scraps of food he’d found in his neglected apartment. Needless to say, he hadn’t expected to have to meet Dumbledore anytime soon. He would’ve at least taken a shower. Dumbledore stood in his study but as soon as he walked in, Remus’ eyes caught Hagrid holding a bundle of covers in his arms. 

He immediately imagined the worst. His breath caught in his throat, his stomach flipped as a wave of nausea had him gagging. 

“Is Harry-,” Remus croaked unable to finish his sentence. 

“He’s alive,” replied Dumbledore turning to face him. 

Remus made a move to reach for Harry before stopping himself. 

“Where are James and Lily?”

“Remus, please take a seat.”

“No,” his hand clutched his chest, “no, no don’t say it.”

“Remus there is much to do, take a seat.”

“NO!” Remus cried.

Had all his pain been for nothing? He had been working relentlessly in hopes that one day the war would end. He’d get to see his brothers again. He would be able to see Lily, who had been like the sister he never had. He wanted all of them to be happy again. 

His cry had woken up Harry, who started crying.

The sound shook Remus. Lily wouldn’t hold her child again. James would never see him become a great Quidditch player. Harry wouldn’t get the chance to discover his amazing parents. Harry had lost Lily and James. It was enough for Remus to set aside the pain his chest as he sat down. Hagrid was calming down Harry, who fell back asleep. 

Dumbledore looked grim.

“Peter gave away their location. Sirius was a decoy, he had no idea where they were. Peter was caught trying to flee the scene but he managed to escape the aurors. He’s most likely in hiding.”

Remus’ head felt light as his stomach churned at the thought of Peter betraying James and Lily. 

“Voldemort killed James.”

His brother. His friend. His hero. James who was so kind, so brave. So stubborn. His mischievous smile, his loyal heart were gone forever. He had been so warm, like the sun, but now all that was left was a cold body.

“When Voldemort tried to kill Harry, Lily’s love somehow saved him. Voldemort is gone,” he paused, “for now.”

Remus couldn’t hold back the tears that rolled down his cheeks. Lily had protected her son to the death. She had fought bravely. She was gone. For good. Her freckled cheeks, her intelligent green eyes and her charming smiles. 

They were both gone.

“What’s going to happen to Harry?”

“I contacted Sirius, he was supposed to be here. You have to find him before Peter does. I’m afraid that if you fail, Sirius might do something that he’d regret. Inform him of James and Lily’s passing. He is Harry’s godfather after all, he could have custody, but he has to be able to take care of him,” Dumbledore paused his ironclad gaze meeting Remus’. “Do hurry. If you’re not back here before dawn. I’ll be forced to take Harry away and you will most likely not see him again.”

Remus nodded before standing up and making his way to Harry.

“Harry, I will be back shortly. You will grow up knowing how amazing your parents were. You will grow up loved. Sirius and I will take care of you. I promise,” he whispered to the sleeping baby. Kissing his forehead before making his way out the door.

He quickly made his way out of the castle to be able to _aparate_. It was a little past ten so he had about seven hours to get Sirius. He thought of Sirius’ apartment as the right place to start his search for his... Sirius wasn't his anymore.

Once he stood outside of Sirius’ building, he took a deep breath. The last time he’d seen Sirius they’d had a horrendous fight. They’d insulted each other. They’d both filled their words with venom trying to hurt one another. Remus ran up the stairs, his head overflowing with images of Sirius. All their fights but also that one night. That one night they’d stoped fighting to hold each other. The night Sirius had kissed him lightly, where they’d cried together and comforted each other. 

Remus knocked on the door. There was no answer so he knocked again, much louder this time. He heard a bit of shuffling behind the door. He waited. 

The door swung open. A young man stood there, his shirt half buttoned and his hair a ruffled mess. Remus was stunned, of course Sirius was going around sleeping with random guys. 

“You’re not the pizza delivery guy.”

Remus gave him a flat look before raising his wand.

“ _Stupefy_ ,” he murmured.

The man dropped unconscious. Remus made his way into the apartment and closed the door. The sound had alerted Sirius, who stumbled out of his room and into the living room. His eyes met Remus’. 

“Did you just stun my date?”

“Are you drunk?” Remus countered.

“Are you jealous?”

“Sirius, go take a shower.” There wasn’t an ounce of humour in his voice. 

“Funny you should say that. You smell like you need one too, and it’s not like Trevor is waking up any time soon.”

“You’re shameless.”

“You flatter me so.”

“Sirius, sober up for Merlin’s sake we don’t have much time.”

The urgency in Remus’ voice had Sirius nodding gravely. He showered quickly as Remus made coffee in the kitchen. Sirius made his way to the kitchen in his bathrobe. When he finished his first cup, Remus was struggling to find the words to tell him what had happened. 

Remus finally reached for Sirius’ hand.

“James and Lily are dead. Voldemort killed them.”

Sirius froze. He looked puzzled.

“What did you just say?”

“Voldemort killed Lily and James.”

Sirius tackled Remus out of his chair. He had him pinned on the floor. 

“You’re lying!” He spit out, a wild look in his eyes. 

“Why would I lie to you about this? They’re gone.”

Sirius banged his fists on Remus’ chest. 

“Stop lying!”

Remus felt his own tears spilling. He caught Sirius’ wrists. 

“Look at me,” he whispered as his thumbs rubbed Sirius’ wrists. “They’re gone.”

Sirius crazed gaze met Remus’. He dropped his head on Remus’ chest.

“No, they can’t be.”

Remus let go of Sirius’ wrists and hugged him. They were both crying. Sirius’ sobbed as Remus’ tears quietly rolled down his cheeks. 

“Harry was just a baby,” Sirius cried.

Remus sat up, startling Sirius.

“Sirius, that’s why I’m here. Harry is alive. He survived because,” he swallowed the lump in his throat, “Lily’s love saved him.”

“Harry’s alive,” he whispered a glint of hope shone in his eyes. “The last time I saw him he was this tiny.”

He held up his arms to pretend he was holding Harry.

“I’d begged and begged Peter to let me see them-“

His eyes widened in horror as the realization of what had happened hit him. 

“I wasn’t the Secret-Keeper. How did Voldemort find them Remus?”

The wild look returned to his eyes as he jumped to his feet. 

“Sirius,” cooed Remus, “please take a deep breath.” He reached for Sirius’ hands.

“Answer the question!”

“Sirius, you know-”

“I need to hear it.”

“Sirius, Harry is waiting for us. We have to go to him.”

“Tell me.”

“James and Lily would want us to take care of Harry. He needs us.”

“Remus Lupin,” he pointed his wand at Remus, “answer my question.”

“Peter sold them out.”

Sirius let out a scream of anger.

“How could he? HOW COULD HE BETRAY THEM? HE LOVED JAMES AS MUCH AS WE DID!” He roared as he put on his combat boots dressed in nothing but his bathrobe. 

“I know Sirius, I know! But-”

“Where is he now? I’m going to find him and avenge James and Lily.”

“Sirius you’re not thinking clearly! We have to go get Harry! Peter is in hiding! He probably transformed into a rat and we have no way of tracking him!”

“I’ll find him if it’s the last thing I do!”

“But-”

“He killed James! MY BROTHER! He got them killed Remus! Lily and James deserved a happy life full of love! Peter stole that from them and you expect me to sit idly by?” He yelled at Remus. 

“SIRIUS!” Remus held him by the shoulders. ”Focus! Dumbledore has Harry, we have until dawn to get him. We’re the only family he has left! WE have to take care of him! FOR LILY! FOR JAMES! ”

“For Lily and James,” he agreed. 

Sirius closed his eyes. When Remus felt as though Sirius had calmed down enough for him to come closer without being attacked, he wrapped his arms around Sirius. He placed his cheek on top of Sirius’ still wet curls, one of Remus' hands found the nape of Sirius' neck.

"I'll go with you," finally agreed Sirius.

He was shaking from the shock of the news and well, he was still only in his bathrobe. Remus led him to his bedroom and sat him down on his bed. 

“Sirius, get dressed. I’ll be right out the door if you need anything.”

Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and stood up.

“Remus,” he said as he placed his hands on both of Remus’ cheeks. “I’m sorry about everything I said. I’m sorry for not believing you. I’m sorry for hurting you-“

Sirius took a step closer and put one of his hands on the nape of Remus’ neck. 

“Promise you won’t forget me?”

“I could never, Sirius.”

Tilting his head upwards, he gently placed his lips on Remus’. 

“I loved James and Lily. I love Harry. Even-, ” his breath hitched, “I loved Peter too. And I know you’ll do great with Harry. You know,” their eyes met, ”you know I love you and I’m sorry, but Peter has to pay.”

Remus’ eyes widened, as he understood the meaning behind Sirius’ words.

“Sirius, think of Harry! Think of me! I love y-”

“ _Stupefy_!”

Remus blacked out.

☆☆☆

Remus awoke in a panic. A single ray of sunshine caressed his cheek. Mocking him. 

“I failed,” he whispered to himself as his hand came to his mouth, trying to keep his cries in. “I’m sorry James! I’m sorry Lily! I’ve failed you. And Harry. Harry! I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise,” he sobbed as he stood up.

“YOU LIED TO ME!” He yelled as he trashed Sirius’ room. In his daze, he ran to the kitchen looking for something sharp.

In the kitchen, he found the young man who had opened the door. 

“Oh! You’re still here,” he said before taking a sip from his coffee cup. “I guess Sirius stood us both up right? That sly devil.”

Remus looked at him with hatred. 

“Get out,” he muttered under his breath, “I said GET OUT!”

“Okay, grumpy,” said Trevor. He took his cup of coffee with him as he ran out of Sirius apartment.

Remus took a knife and looked at his writs, he’d come so close to doing this. He'd already hurt himself, never too deep because Sirius had always been there to stop him. But Sirius was gone. James and Lily were dead. He wanted nothing more than for all of it to stop. But then he thought of Harry. 

He had failed Harry

He _aparate_ ’d as close to Hogwarts as he could and ran to Dumbledore’s office.

“Where’s Harry! Don’t take him away! Please!”

“You’re too late Mr. Lupin,” said Dumbledore as he handed him the Daily Prophet. 

The headline stated _‘Sirius Black found responsible for the deaths of James and Lily Potter as well as former friend Peter Pettigrew’_.

“NO! He’s innocent! You know he wasn’t the Secret-Keeper!”

“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do now, people saw him murder Pettigrew last night. There are enough witnesses for the Ministry to skip the trial. He will be imprisoned by the end of the day.”

“But he was hurt, he was avenging Lily and James! He didn’t kill them!” 

“Had the ministry arrested Pettigrew, Mr. Black might’ve had a chance to be clear of the charges regarding James and Lily’s deaths.”

“What about Harry? Where is he? Please, I can-” his voice quivered, “I can take care of him. Just don’t send him away.”

“Please Mr. Lupin, you can barely take care of yourself. Now I’m assuming you’ll be in charge of the funerary arrangements for James and Lily. You should at least be able to do that for them.”

Remus hung his head down in shame.

“That is all, you’re free to go.”

Remus walked out without glancing at Dumbledore. Then, a daunting thought crossed his mind, he’d have to attend their funeral alone. His heart shattered as the loneliness engulfed him.

☆☆☆

Harry lifted his head from the Pensieve in what was now McGonagall’s office. 

Behind him McGonagall held Teddy in her arms. 

“Another one of Mr. Lupin’s memories I presume?”

“He left me a whole box,” answered Harry.

He hadn’t realized he’d shed a few tears until Teddy reached for his cheek. McGonagall’s gaze softened as she placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry gave her a tight-lipped smile and picked up Teddy.

“Teddy, you will grow up knowing how amazing Tonks, Remus and Sirius were. You will grow up loved. I promise you,” he kissed Teddy’s forehead intending to keep his promise. 

Remus might not have been able to keep his. Not right away. 

But he had left Harry a full box of memories. Harry was able to discover how amazing Lily and James really were. He understood how much Remus and Sirius had loved each other. And Harry grew up loved by his adopted son.

Remus had kept his promise after all.


End file.
